Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Sunday, January 22, 2012


So I don't think I have cried that much since May, or June, or July for that matter:) Amos and I opened up some tender and pretty raw wounds late last night. I knew they were still there, I think they always will be to an extent...

We have heard amazing things about the new movie Courageous, but honestly knew very few details as to what it was about. It is probably a good thing, because I am not sure I would have been brave enough to watch it, but it was SOOOOOO worth it. The tears were worth it. What a powerful message. If you haven't seen it, run and I mean run to rent or buy it!

I think it impacted us so much because we have had so many similar conversations in our family over the last year. If there is anything we have learned it is to slow down, live intentionally, and that life is so very, very fragile. While we did not lose an older child, the pain and grief are still all too familiar. I have played the movie reels in my head of the missed moments rocking, holding, playing and watching Isaac grow up. And the one thing that has kept both Amos and I steady the whole time is our faith and hope we have in knowing we will one day see Isaac. Until then as I like to say to Anastacia, he is sitting in the lap of Jesus.

My hope and prayer for all of you is that you won't ever have to lose a loved one or have tragedy strike to cause you to reflect on your life and motivate change. Just this week I answered a text back late at night from a girlfriend who responded she was surprised I was still up. I quickly explained I had already been to bed once and was on my second trip for the night. I had laid down to snuggle with Anastacia and say our nightly prayers. As usual I ended up falling asleep and moving to our bed about 11:) She answered back I was "a good momma", to which I replied that wasn't me, but Him changing and working on me. It made me think back to all of the moments that I have missed in the past but since losing Isaac have literally clung to with Anastacia and Amos. It isn't always easy and sometimes takes reminding that I have to be intentional about spending time with my family. It has become our number one priority the last several months. TV's and computers have been turned off while texts and phone calls often go unanswered. The house is sometimes (okay lots of times:) messy, and laundry doesn't always get done.

But as they said so perfectly in the movie what is more important than the soul of my child?

I think I should tape that to the mirror, TV, computer and my phone. Just to remind me in the midst of all of the distractions what my true focus needs to be on. We need to, we have to have an URGENCY like nothing else to pour our love and the love of Christ into our children.

STOP to dance, play, listen, connect and spend time with your children...

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

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