Today.....

A friend sent me a blog post with this quote today, "Lord, give me the wisdom to not waste all of this." It was referencing a scripture from James 1: 2-4 "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

As I lay there this afternoon during our ultrasound I thought over and over how perfect that summarized my prayers and thoughts from the last few days. The reality each ultrasound brings is that this may be our opportunity to spend time, bond with and love our precious son. I lay there thinking please don't let me waste any precious moments that you have in store for us Lord. May I continue to remain open to all of the lessons you are teaching me on this journey. Don't get me wrong I still have overwhelming moments of sadness, and cry lots of tears some nights. This is one of those journeys you never ever, ever, ever imagined yourself walking, so please don't let me waste this.........Help us cherish every moment, give us wisdom with every lesson You have in store for us. As Amos continues to say, let this journey be a testimony to His goodness and bring glory to Him.

In our appointment today, Isaac moved the whole first half of the ultrasound and then promptly curled into a little ball, flipped his feet over his head and went to sleep. Amos even noticed the moment his eyes shut. His heart beat is strong, despite him only having two chambers to his heart. He gained four ounces in two weeks despite him being small for his age. And he looks completely "normal" by our standards. A precious, tiny miracle.

Many of you have asked if we will still deliver in St. Louis, and the answer is no. We probably would never have ended up in St. Louis if we had the diagnosis of Trisomy 18 first. There is no surgical intervention for the heart defect. We are planning on delivering at St. Francis in Tulsa and next week we will meet with the neonatal doctor. From the conversations I have had leading up to this appointment, it sounds like it will be a difficult one. So please pray for God's will to be evident with each and every decision we will make. For every major door/decision that appears before us, that He simply will open or close it. For peace that surpasses all understanding. For us to continue to be blessed with amazing doctors, nurses and staff. And once again for us to not waste any moment or lesson. We love you all!