Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Isaac Lee...

I think I knew...
mom's intuition, the Holy Spirit guiding me....

Monday was a tough, tough day. Not that I haven't had tough days, but nothing like this. I couldn't ever give a specific reason to Amos other than I was just sad. Sweet Anastacia asked why I was crying once and when I told her that I was sad that Isaac was sick she reassured me that he would be okay. The faith of a child. And the one thought that continued to circle through my mind was the "big picture." That there is an eternity and story we are all part of, that Isaac is part of that we don't "see" on a daily basis. I found these verses that so clearly echo what God was teaching me.....

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12 "God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can."

Late Tuesday it hit me, I hadn't felt Isaac move all day. I remember going back through time trying not to panic and remember the last time I had felt him. He has always been so active so when I don't feel him, it tends to make an impact with me. I called the doctor Wednesday morning and she had me come in and we discovered that our sweet son had gone to be with our heavenly father. Amos and I both continue to have amazing peace. I know without a shadow of doubt the strength we have is from Him carrying us and the prayers we have constantly surrounding us.
Philippians 4:7 "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

God answers prayers......

Maybe not always in the answer we think we want, but I continue to remind myself of Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all of our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding." and of
Isaiah 55:8-9 "My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

We had an appointment with the neonatal doctor Wednesday at 1pm and knew that we would be asked some tough questions about care of Isaac after birth. The doctors wanted us to have a plan for him if he wasn't born healthy and healed. We had been praying for the last week for Him to take any difficult decision out of our hands, to open or close doors so clearly we would have no doubt going into our doctor's appointment His will for Isaac. As I was admitted Wednesday to the hospital for a c-section we realized He has been holding our hands through each and every painful step we have taken. And our sweet little boy is whole, healthy and safe sitting in the lap of Jesus. In his short life here on earth he was loved as much as any child as we have ever known.

God is answering our prayer, for this journey to be a testimony to His goodness and to bring glory to Him. Isaac's story continues to touch so many. We are humbled to be a small part of it, to have Isaac for our son. As his Daddy says he is one strong little dude. And God continues to give us reminders of how much He loves us, of how much Isaac loves us. His birth was such a miraculous, holy, God moment. He literally arranged so many details, from big to small. From our nurses and doctors praying with and over us. To being surrounded by dear friends and family praying for us. To giving us touching, visible reminders of His love.

I remember hearing "He is perfect" and "Look at his hand" in the delivery room. He was born with his right hand formed to tell us "I love you" and hours later it was still that way. Another gentle reminder of His love for us.

A precious tiny, perfect miracle.....

We rest in knowing that there will be a day that we will have the pure joy of knowing you in a world you are already experiencing.

"That there will be a day with no more tears,
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold onto you always"

John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, calls, visits, and messages. We are in the process of planning a memorial service for Isaac and will post more details of the date and time in the next few days. We love you all!


Anonymous said...

You are in our prayers always. You guys and your story have been such an inspiration to us. Your faith is remarkable. We love you guys and hope to see you soon.
The Mitchell's

Jennifer Doyle said...

Jeanette, I had no idea until I saw your request on FB to follow your blog.

I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss of precious Isaac and I'm in awe of your faith.

His wee hand, showing "I love you," it just makes me weep with sadness in joy, because He does love you.

You, Amos, Anastasia, and Isaac will be in my prayers.