Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Dear Isaac...

A dear sweet friend gave me a journal titled "Letter to Isaac." There is so much to tell our son, it has been amazing to see God's hand on this journey we have been on........

Dear Isaac-
In your short time with us, you have touched so many lives so deeply. You changed us, your Daddy says you changed the world. Did you know your Mommy and Daddy danced to that song at our wedding?
People keep writing and coming up to your Mommy and Daddy to tell them how proud they are of us for being so brave and strong. Did you know you made your Mommy and Daddy brave?
Sweet boy, we love you so very much, so many people love you. Your sister prays every night to tell God how much she loves you. From the very beginning we knew you were special. That God gave you to us. Little did we know the big plans He had for your life. Did you know your story has become His story? That people from all of the world have read your story? That from the beginning your Daddy thanked God in our prayers for giving us you, how humbled we were to be chosen as your parents. He prayed for God to use your story to show God's goodness and love. And people have written from all over to tell us how much your story has meant to them, how much you have inspired them.
Mommy already misses you so much. The sweet reminder of you being part of me. The feel of your kicks. It shouldn't have surprised me how much you loved to move to the worship music at church. Did you know your Mommy, Daddy and sister love to dance and sing to worship music?
When I am sad at night and long to hold you, I wonder what your smile would have looked like, what your laugh would have sounded like. I wonder if you would have had your Daddy's gentle spirit, and sweet loving nature with people. Did you know you had blonde hair just like him? I wonder if you and Anastacia would have looked alike. She was so excited for you to be her brother, she planned a "baby party" for mommy, and she loved to look at all the little boy clothes in stores for you. She misses you so much too. The other night after she cried from missing you, she made "Isaac Bear" for us to hold when we miss you. Isaac Bear wears one of your tiny hats and is wrapped in the blanket that held you in the hospital. A small reminder of you helps your sister sleep at night right now.

Did you know your sister named you? She was so determined that you were a boy and Isaac was your name she told all of her friends at school before the doctor even knew you were a boy. She told us your name came from the story of Isaac and Abraham in her bible, a story about another Daddy having the courage to trust in God.
We prayed for you all the time sweet Isaac. We prayed for God to heal you and make you whole. Anastacia prayed for God to heal your broken heart. In our darkest times of struggle and heartache we knew God would heal you. The fact that you aren't with us now doesn't change our belief that we knew He would heal you. Even the day you were born we didn't question God's will for your life. He knew the plans He had for you!
The day you were born people from all over were praying for you, your Mommy, Daddy and sister. Nurses joined friends and family in prayer over Mommy and Daddy. Friends and family watched our doctor pray over Mommy and Daddy before we went back to have you. Later our pastor and friends told us they had never seen a doctor stop to pray over a patient, but that day for you she did. One more gentle reminder that God had His hand on your story. Did you know there were gasps of amazement as doctors and nurses saw how God made your precious hand to tell us how much you loved us, how much God loved us? Your one "I love you" became some of the most powerful words that were never spoken. Even your sister knew the minute she saw the picture of your hand that you told her "I love you." We love you too Isaac. When Anastacia saw you her first words were "He is so cute Mommy." And you were so cute, a perfect, precious, tiny, 14 ounce miracle.

Anastacia asked Mommy and Daddy if we saw God the day you went to live with Jesus in heaven. She wanted to know if God was in the delivery room with us. And yes, He was. We felt God every moment of that day. Without sounding silly, it was if time seemed to stand still for us, it was such a holy moment. Mommy and Daddy both felt God's arms around us that day, carrying us with His strength, giving us peace. So many have commented about the peace that was felt in the room the day you were born. God truly gave us a peace that transcends all understanding on that day.
We felt that peace again today. Today Mommy, Daddy and Anastacia were both sad and happy. Sad because we miss you, but happy because of the hope you have given us. As we wrapped our arms around each other and sang "There Will Be a Day" we were comforted knowing that there will be a day with no more tears, pain or fears. We are comforted knowing that one day we will see Jesus face to face and know that until then you are sitting in His lap with His arms wrapped around you. And we will get the chance to tell you what you already know, how much we love you, and how God has used your story to change our world.

Mommy, Daddy and Anastacia

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit."

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